The Sex Temptation, Balancing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and men use love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles analyze excellent sex as love. However those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further because for these singles, making love brings enormous significance and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of 2 ways:

A.they believe sex is a required test of compatibility, (if the sex is good then the relationship will ready too).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, rather than taking a look at whether this other person might be a match on levels besides physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to stay connected with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to someone we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), which makes the opportunity to have sex with someone we are brought in to very tough to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), makings us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are involuntary and strong , resulting in powerful sensations of tourist attraction, excitement, love, nearness, and well-being .

But when issues occur, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by thinking, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They more than likely would not confess, however they focus on physical intimacy and regard the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, says that a lot of his customers have actually fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay males specifically in urban areas, sex is easily offered, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, motivates sex. Numerous gay males want to learn from the starting if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North adds, "I think this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' click here for more thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is essential. Chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not visit the site there, we can't "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow gradually.

Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you must stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This suggests combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner options by paying complete attention to your vision, goals, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those additional reading interesting triggers!

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