The Sensuality Lure, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating predicament and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and guys utilize love to get sex." This is a great summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where songs translate good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even farther due to the fact that for these singles, having sex brings immense meaning and consequences.

Songs fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a needed test of compatibility, (if the sex is great then the relationship will be good also).

B.more frequently, all consciousness goes out the window, and one or both previously level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they have sex.
Rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical tourist attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, needs, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to correspond with truth when all those hormonal agents are running wild. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the opportunity to make love with someone we are drawn in to exceptionally tough to withstand. After orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel really close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chain reactions are strong and involuntary , resulting in effective feelings of attraction, enjoyment, love, closeness, and well-being .

When problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap typically rationalize by believing, "Well, we've got problems, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they prioritize physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their primary scouting tools are sexual destination and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mainly with gay men, states that much of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in cities, sex is easily available, and that in itself is a trap," North states. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical appearance, encourages sex. Many gay males want to discover from the beginning if a prospective partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't going to ready?".

Nevertheless, North includes, "I suspect have a peek at these guys this is a 'guy' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is important. Chemistry is a provided that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it needs to be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow gradually.

Songs who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure when the hormone-induced intoxication wears away and reality hits.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you need to stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This implies combining chemistry with good sense. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you require to make your partner choices by paying full attention to your vision, objectives, worths, and requirements -- while feeling all those interesting sparks!

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