The Intimacy Snare, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium

As I had my morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column captured my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating issue and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women use sex to get love, and men use love to obtain sex." This is a excellent summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap resembles the Love Trap, where songs translate great sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex brings tremendous significance and effects.

Songs fall under the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two ways:

A.they believe sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good also).

B.more frequently, all awareness goes out the window, and one or both formerly level-headed singles consider themselves a dedicated couple as soon as they have sex.
So, rather than looking at whether this other individual might be a match on levels other than physical destination-- such as long-term requirements, requirements, and wants-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to keep in touch with truth when all those hormones are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are drawn in to by producing hormonal agents such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural mood enhancers), and testosterone (increases libido), makings the opportunity to make love with somebody we are attracted to exceptionally difficult to withstand. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts upon the hypothalamus to produce feelings), which makes us feel very near to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical responses are strong and uncontrolled , resulting in effective sensations of destination, excitement, love, closeness, and wellness .

However when problems emerge, those who fall into the Sex Trap often justify by thinking, "Well, we've got problems, however the sex is excellent!" They probably would not confess, but they focus websites on physical intimacy and relate to the rest as optional. Their main hunting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works mostly with gay men, states that a lot of his clients have actually fallen under the Sex Trap.

" For gay guys particularly in urban locations, sex is readily available, and that in itself is a trap," North says. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to be excellent?".

Nonetheless, North adds, "I suspect this is a ' man' thing instead of a 'gay' thing.".
I do desire to mention that chemistry is essential. Yet, chemistry is a offered that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry happen, though sometimes it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication wears off and truth hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry threat relationship failure.

To avoid the Sex Trap, you should balance your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with sound judgment. While great sex is very important for a sustainable relationship, you need to make your partner choices by paying complete attention to your vision, worths, objectives, and requirements -- while feeling all those amazing stimulates!

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Comments on “The Intimacy Snare, Stabilizing Hormones and the Cranium”

Leave a Reply

Gravatar